The Very Thought Of You
by C.G. Parker
Summary: Case file. chapter 9 is up. Look for Broken Promises the next story in his series.
1. Default Chapter

(Disclaimer: Law and Order : SVU and the characters are owned by Dick Wolf, NBC, ECT.. No infringement intended.)

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


The Very Thought Of You

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


1:35 A. M.

St. Catherine's Hospital

Emergency Room

  
  


Elliot Stabler walked the familiar path to the ER. The desk Sargent at the precinct had called him at home an hour ago informing him that his partner was here with a rape victim. So much for a night off. He approached the nurses station. "I'm Detective Elliot Stabler." He produced his badge. The nurse dropped what she was doing and came around the desk. "This way please." He followed her down the hall listening as they went. "It looks to be a blitz attack. She was walking home, some guy came up behind her hit her over the head. Put a rope around her neck and dragged her into the ally. Rape kit was positive for fluids. But we also have his blood and skin. She fought hard. Took her pound of flesh, so to speak." They stopped just outside of an examination room. "She was very adamant about not notifying next of kin. I have to say I'm glad that the officer that brought her in recognized her and called you anyway." Elliot looked at her with a puzzled expression. "You are Olivia Benson's next of kin right?" "Yeah, I don't understand got a call from the prescient telling me that my partner was here with a rape victim." " Oh dear, I think there's been a misunderstanding. I'm so sorry." Elliot was shaking his head . Unwilling to hear the warning bells going off in his head. "Your partner isn't with a victim she is the victim." Elliot couldn't breath. "What?" " Detective Benson was raped two blocks from her apartment building. One of the officers recognized her despite the damage to her face..." Elliot turned away from her. He opened the exam room door in time to see Olivia trying to put on a shirt .It was obviously painful and he cringed at the sight of her bare back. Which once had been flawless now was bruised and scared. This wasn't really happening. He opened his mouth to speak but she beat him to it. "I thought I asked you not to call him." she asked the nurse coldly. "We didn't the officer.." but Elliot interrupted her. "Why did you make me your emergency contact if your not going to let them call me in an emergency?" her back was still to him as she tried to button up her shirt. This isn't an emergency. I was raped. It happens every day." Elliot couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Not to you." She said nothing more as she continued to fumble with the buttons. She gave up leaving the top 3 undone when she realized that she had missed one and the shirt was uneven. She looked around for her coat. Elliot picked it up off the back of a chair and held it open for her to slip into. remembering how much difficulty she had with the shirt. She accepted his help. She turned to look at him. It was the first time he had seen her face and it broke his heart. Her face was already starting to turn black and blue. There was a bandage on her right cheek covering what he assumed was a pretty bad cut. Her throat had rope burn and bruising as well. He wanted to hold her to tell her that when they found this guy he would ripe him apart with his bare hands, but the look in her eyes told him she couldn't handle anything like that now. He saw her uneven shirt and began to fix it for her. He adjusted one button at a time so as not to expose her or make her feel like he was taking her shirt off. He left the top 2 undone as she usually did when she wore shirts like this and adjusted the collar so it wouldn't brush against her tender throat. She had been watching him intently the whole time. First his hands then his face. She was about to speak when they heard a voice from the door call her name. "Olivia." Their Captain was standing at the door with Munch and Fin behind him. "Can we come in?" He asked tenderly. She nodded. They entered .concern obvious on their faces. " I'm alright. Really." she said trying to reassure them. They weren't buying it. "Do you guys mind if I make my statement tomorrow. I'm really tired." "Sure, whenever you're ready." Cragen said. The nurse knocked on the doorframe and entered. She had a dozen red roses in her hand. "These just came for you ." She handed Olivia the roses and left. She gave them to Elliot to hold as she opened the card. As she read the card her hands started to shake. Munch was standing next to her and took it. He read it aloud. "Your blood is red, Your body black and blue, Kiss you partner goodbye, Because I'm going to kill you." Elliot remembered the flowers in his hand. He flung them across the room. They hit the wall above the bed, showering the sheets with petals.


	2. chapter 2

(Disclaimer in part one.)

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


The Very Thought Of You 2

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


7:00 A. M. 

Olivia's Apartment

  
  
  
  


Elliot brought Olivia home from the hospital. She hadn't said a word the whole trip just stared out of the car window. Munch and Fin were going to be working her case. At the moment they were attacking the flower angle. Cragen was fast tracking the forensic evidence to see if the guy was in the system. He knew they cared about Olivia almost as much as he did. They would get the bastard. It was only a matter of time.

  
  


They entered her apartment and he locked the door behind him. He took off his coat. She was standing in the middle of the room, not moving, she seemed to be in a daze. He was standing behind her as he reached out to take her coat, touching her shoulder's. He pulled back quickly, suddenly afraid that he might have scared her. She spun around to look at him but it wasn't fear in her eyes it was anger. "Get Out!" she yelled at him venomously. He stepped back surprised at her. "Olivia, I'm not going to hurt you! You know I would never..." He stammered. "What? Rape me. No. You couldn't do that. That would require you being able to touch me without flinching. And as for hurting me, you've already done that!" He was shaking his head trying to figure out what he had done. "How?" "You're treating me like a vic. I am not made of glass Elliot! I don't break that easily!" "I'm sorry." "Don't. Don't feel sorry for me. Don't pity me!" "Olivia, please understand. I don't know what to do here. Work is one thing but when it's someone you love it's different. The very thought of you being hurt like this. It breaks my heart. This is the one thing that should never have happened to you." His voice began to crack as tears sprung to his eyes. "Please tell me what to do here. I'm lost." He took her hands in his and noticed that they were bruised and blooded like the rest of her. He looked at her with such sadness in his eyes. She took her hands from his, taking hold of his face, she looked into his eyes. " The first thing you have to do is stop looking at me like this. You're seeing me as a victim. This is the one thing that could break me Elliot and I can't let that happen. I will not become my mother. Being raped and having me around as a constant reminder destroyed her. I need you're strength and for you to believe in me. I'm so scared that I won't survive this. Please, Elliot I need you to see me as you always have. As your partner, your friend, anything but a victim. Please...." A sob broke from her chest and tears came down her face. He grabbed her into a fierce hug and kissed her check softly. He had never ceased to be amazed by her. He knew she had been through a lot, being a child of a rape, but he had never seen anything so strong and so beautiful come from something so horrible. He whispered softly into her hair. "God, I love you." He froze, had he just said that aloud. Before he think anymore about it his cell phone rang. He reluctantly let go of her and answered it. It was Cragen. He listened carefully. "What! That's not possible. Are you sure? We'll be right down." He stood there shocked. Olivia looked at him expectantly. " They got a print match off of the inside of the wrapping paper that was around the flowers. You're never gonna believe this. They belong to Richard White!"


	3. chapter 3

(Disclaimer in part one.)

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


The Very Thought Of You 3

  
  
  
  


8:45 A. M.

Special Victims Unit

Captain Cragen's Office

  
  
  
  


"It can't be Richard White he's in jail doing 35 to life. He's only served 5 of those years there is now way they would let him out." Elliot reasoned. Olivia just sat quietly next to him. Fin entered the office and closed the door behind him. "We got a positive match on the DNA." Cragen hung up the phone and shook his head. "He escaped." "What! How?" "He was supposedly having heart problems and was transferred from Elmira to Bellview. He was one of several patients in one room. He switched charts and id bracelets with some nobody and at the shift change just got up and walked out." "When was this?"Elliot asked unbelieving. "Yesterday around 3pm." "What!?" "They think he left sometime after the 7am shirt started yesterday, but it wasn't until 3 or so that they figured out who actually escaped." "So from 3 o'clock yesterday they knew he was out there and they didn't think to call us and warn us!" " No." Cragen said solemnly. "No of course not they were to busy covering their asses!" Munch interjected. Elliot was in a rage now. He stood up and started pacing angrily. "One fucking phone call from them would've prevented this. I never would have let her walk home! Hell, I wouldn't have left her alone at all! White would've never had a chance to put his filthy hands on her!" He wanted to hit something and settled for kicking the door instead. The glass cracked with the impact. Cragen was about to yell at him to calm down. When he suddenly noticed that Olivia was by his side. She put a hand on his back gently. Instantly the anger drained from him. "I'm sorry." He whispered. Cragen noticed red streaks of blood across the back of Olivia's shirt. He came around his desk. "Olivia, your bleeding." He said with concern. Elliot looked at her back and felt a pang of guilt. He wondered if he had done that when he had hugged he so tightly earlier. Olivia spoke quietly. "It's nothing, just some cuts from when he dragged me down the alley. The pavement was rough. It's alright." No, it's not." Elliot and Cragen said in unison. Cragen pointed to the bathroom that was connected to his office. "There's a first aid kit in there." He realized that she would need help and was about to suggest maybe calling a paramedic for her, but Elliot was already guiding her into the bathroom himself. He wondered for a moment if having Elliot do this was such a good idea, but he realized that Elliot was probably the only person she would let touch her. "Have you gotten any rest." Cragen asked gently. She shook her head no. "After Elliot fixes you up I want you to go up to the crib and get some sleep. Both of you." Fixing his gaze on Elliot, who nodded. He had no plans to leave her side anyway. Munch handed Olivia a clean sweatshirt and Elliot shut the door behind them.

  
  
  
  


He found the first aid kit and a couple of hand towels. He opened the kit and took out the scissors and proceeded to cut one of the towels in half. Then he put the drain plug in the sink and filles it with cold water. Olivia was once again trying to work the buttons on her shirt with her obviously sore hands. He saw her struggling and made a cutting motion with the scissors. Indicating that it wasn't worth the trouble. He cut the back of her shirt up the middle and peeled it gently away from her skin. He had seen the damage to her back when he first laid eyes on her in the hospitals, but not this close up. He couldn't help remembering the few times he had seen her in a backless dress. How amazing she looked. Even Cragen, who thought of her as a daughter, seemed to appreciate the view. He wetted one of the cloths and placed it against her bare back. She flinched and inhaled sharply from the cold as much as the pain. She swayed a little, unsteady on her feet. Her shirt was still buttoned in the front and her arms still in the sleeves. He placed a steadying hand on her shoulder which was bare since the material had fallen away. She trembled a bit at his touch, but otherwise didn't make a sound. He tried to think of something else other than what he was doing. He thought of the time when she had gone to the opera, by herself of course. She had come back to the unit because she had forgotten the ticket in her desk. She had been wearing the most beautiful dress he had ever seen. It was emerald green with spaghetti straps. It clung in all the right places, knee length with a slit coming up about mid thigh. She had been wearing a shall, but you could still see that the back of the dress didn't even start until her waist. Munch had been the first to notice her. He had actually fallen out of his chair at the sight of her. She of course looked at him like he was nuts. Fin had whistled admiringly. Cragen and I just stood there like a couple of idiots. He had managed to say was WOW. And I was still dumbfounded. She rolled her eyes and said. "You guys act like you've never seen me in a dress before." She grabbed her ticket and left. I had lost my chance to tell her how beautiful she looked. Now I wondered if she would ever dress up like that again. If the marks White had left on her ..... He was done. In another situation the sight before him would be funny. She looked like a half wrapped mummy. Guess I over did it. He thought to himself.

  
  
  
  


He picked up the sweatshirt that Munch had given her. He turned her around to face him and slipped the garment over her head. She barley acknowledged his presents. He adjusted it around her to give as much coverage as possible when he took the other shirt off of her. She moved automatically to put her arms through the sleeves. She blinked slowly like she was trying to come out of a fog. He thought for a moment that she might faint and he brought a wet cloth to her face. He eyes closed and he changed the bandage on her face. The mark beneath it didn't look as though it would become a scar. He hated the thought of a scar on her beautiful face. She looked as though she was asleep standing up and he voiced his concerns. "Olivia, I think you should go back to the hospital." She was already shaking her head no. "Tiered" was all she managed to say. She leaned into him and rested her head on his chest. Putting his arms around he held her gently. She suddenly went limp in his arms. Had he not been holding her she would have hit the floor. "Olivia." He shouted. Cragen burst into the room at the sound of Elliot's voice. "What happened?" "I think she needs to go back to the hospital." Olivia tried blinking but couldn't focus. "NO. Tiered. I'm ok." she mumbled. "Take her up to the crib. We'll get someone to come and check her out." Elliot wasn't totally convinced. "She's alright. Just exhausted." Cragen tried to reassure him. Olivia attempted to walk, but was failing. Elliot picked her up and carried her upstairs. Everyone in the bullpen had stopped to watch them. Many people in the unit were envious of their relationship himself included. And as he looked around he saw someone in particular that was more jealous than envious. Elliot's wife, Kathy Stabler had just witnessed her husband's gallantry and she did not look as impressed as everyone else. In fact she looked very pissed.


	4. chapter 4

(Disclaimer in part one.)  
  
The Very Thought Of You 4  
  
11:45 A. M. Special Victims Unit The Crib  
  
Elliot put Olivia down onto the cot gently. He brushed some of the hair away from her face. Her lips moved to speak, but no sound came out. Thinking that she was dreaming he whispered soft words of comfort in her ear and kissed her check softly. "Elliot." She spoke barely above a whisper. "I'm here. Get some sleep baby." She moaned softly in response and drifted back to sleep. There was a loud knock at the door. Irritated he went to answer it quickly before they could knock again. He was shocked to see Kathy standing there. "Am I interrupting?" Her tone clearly suspicious and accusing. She tried to push past him into the crib in the hope of catching them in the act. He took her by the arm and led her into the hallway closing the door behind them. He was not in the mood for fight. She lit into him immediately. "Where were you this morning?" "I got a call. I told you." It was then that he realized that he hadn't told her anything. He hadn't called her when he got to work like he usually did to let her know when he would be home. He thought though that she would understand that under the circumstances. "Kathy.." "You missed Lizy and Dickey's play today. You remember the one that you promised you wouldn't forget." "Shit. I'm sorry. I'll make it up to them. They'll understand when I explain to them what happened." "Really I can't wait to hear this one. Will you go with the classic? "I got called in." Or will you try the truth. " I got a call from my whore of a partner and I was just to busy fucking her to come to your play!" Elliot grabbed her by the upper arms and slammed her against the wall. He never thought that he could be capable of hitting his wife. He was raised not to hurt women, but she was putting him to the test. Kathy looked genially frightened. "If you ever say anything like that about Olivia again I swear to God!" "Elliot you're hurting me." Kathy whimpered. " So now were even." He let go of her. "We're no where near even. Since you obviously like sleeping with her don't bother coming home." She was about to continue when the door behind them opened and Olivia stepped into the hall. "Elliot, is everything all right?" She saw the look on Kathy's face and realized that they weren't. "Sorry. I didn't.." "It's OK. Kathy was just leaving." Elliot said as he gently ushered her back into the room. He turned back to Kathy and saw the shock on her face at seeing Olivia's condition. " I'll be by later on to see my kids and pick up a few things." And he closed the door before she could say another word. Kathy blinked back tears. What had she done?  
  
When Kathy walked down the stairs back into the bullpen she was met with some very nasty looks from Elliot and Olivia's CO-workers. They must have heard the argument. She spotted Cragen. He gave her a small smile and invited her into his office. Closing the door behind them. He took a seat at the end of his desk and offered her a chair. She hung her head slightly in embarrassment. "Don't worry about it." She scoffed "I just accused my husband of having an affair with his partner in full ear shot of all of his friends and CO-workers. I've embarrassed my husband." "That little argument is nothing compared to the knock down drag out fights Elliot and Olivia have had, mostly over stupid things. Like the donut incident. They called each other names for four days all over a chocolate donut. Your fight won't even be remembered by these guys tomorrow." She nodded. "Everyone is just a little sensitive about Olivia today." Kathy suddenly remembered her battered face. "What happened to her?" Cragen took a deep breath. "Olivia was raped late last night. What you saw today, was nothing more than Elliot taking care of her? She was pretty banged up and very exhausted. She past out here in the office and Elliot carried her upstairs to sleep. Just for the record Elliot is so faithful to you it's scary. And Olivia adores you and the kids. She would never do anything to hurt your marriage." Kathy burst into tears. "I know. I don't know why I'd say something like that." She remembered everything she had said and gasped. "Oh, god. I called her a whore. No wonder Elliot looked like he could kill me. I have to apologize." She stood up as the door flung open. Munch was standing there. "Captain you need to see this." Cragen moved past Kathy and walked out into the bullpen. Fin was grilling a delivery boy. And there sitting on Olivia's desk was 3 dozen red roses in a vase.  
  
Elliot and Olivia walked down the stairs into the bullpen. At first they didn't notice the flowers. "Hey, Captain. Olivia thinks she remembered something." They both stopped short when they saw the flowers. "You've got to be kidding me." Elliot remarked. Olivia put on a glove and searched for a card. She pulled her hand back quickly. "Ouch! I thought they took the thorns off roses nowadays." A few drops of blood were now on the glove. Munch reached in to the arrangement with elongated tweezers and pulled out a card. He opened it carefully are read it aloud. "Your blood is red, Your lips lifeless and blue Give me one last kiss goodbye, As I whisper I love you. Signed Richard." "Why do only psycho's send me roses, just once I would.." She suddenly could catch her breath. She began to tremble and everything looked disjointed. "Elliot, there's something wrong." She managed to say as she fell to her knees. Elliot was at her side in a flash. She was barley breathing now as she locked eyes with Elliot. "Don't touch.. Ros.. pois.." she took one last breath and crumpled into his open arms. 


	5. chapter 5

(Disclaimer in part one.)  
  
The Very Thought Of You 5  
  
Special Victims Unit  
  
Elliot had held Olivia in his arms before. Dancing at last years Christmas party, New Years, a quick hug after an unusually bad case, this morning. And while he had felt different things each time there had always been one constant. He'd always felt her heart beating through her chest, her breath on his neck or in his ear. At this moment he felt neither of those things and it hit him like nothing ever had before. She was dead.  
  
His mind screamed NO! He laid he down on the floor his eyes searching her face for a sign that he was wrong. Her lips were blue/Grey instead of their usual shade of red. It was her eyes however that made his heart shatter. They were open looking at him, wet with tears, but there was no life in them she was gone. A horrible sound broke from his chest. He began shouting her name in the vain hope that she was just sleeping and would just wake up, but it wasn't working. He hadn't noticed all the activity that had been going on around him all he was able to see was Olivia. Dead. Oh God, she's dead. He thought he heard someone scream. He felt a hand grip his shoulder and pull him away. Cragen's face came into his vision. He wore a concerned expression. "Elliot! Stop! The EMT's are here. Elliot!" Cragen was shaking him trying to calm him down. It was then that he realized that the voice he had heard screaming for Olivia had been his. He tried to get back to Olivia's side, but Cragen and Munch held him beck so the EMT's could work on her. They tried to comfort him while others looked on in horror. Kathy Stabler was standing in the doorway of the Captain's office watching everything unfold. She finally couldn't take anymore and closed the door on the chaos. She put her hands over her ears trying to shut out her husband's screams for his partner, for Olivia. Kathy felt her heart breaking, but it wasn't for Olivia it was for herself. She knew that despite Cragen's attempts to convince her otherwise her marriage was over.  
  
Kathy stepped out of the office a few minutes later. She watched her husband and his friend's leave with Olivia heading for the hospital. No one was left that she recognized. A few people looked at her and she began to feel out of place like an intruder. An officer standing behind her cleared his throat to get her attention. "Excuse me. Mrs. Stabler." "Yes." "Captain Cragen asked me to drive you to the hospital to be with your husband." She blinked. Well Cragen remembered her even if Elliot hadn't. She doubted that he had even seen her standing there. "Ma'am?" "Thank you. I appreciate Cragen thinking of me. My husband didn't even notice I was here. She said bitterly. But I guess he was a little distracted. She smiled sheepishly trying to make up for her last comment. He smiled sweetly at her. "I think it's a crime not notice a beautiful woman like you." He leaned in close to her. "I could arrest him." "What could you charge him with?" She asked jokingly. "Oh, how about dereliction of husbandry duties for a start." Kathy laughed at this. If he only knew how true it was. Elliot hadn't touched her in months. She found herself looking closer at the man she was talking to. Not that bad. Wait did she just check this guy out, was she flirting. He certainly was. It felt good; no harm ever came from flirting. "How much time could he get for committing adultery in his heart." She choked a little on her words she may have thought he was having an affair but this was the first time she really believed her own words. He smiled at her and offered his arm in order to walk her to the car. "Well if memory serves, I believe he promised to be faithful until death do you part. So I guess he will get the needle." She laughed again and gave him a flirtatious smile. Richard White smiled back. He was so pleased with the way things were going. Had he know it was going to be this easy he would've escaped a long time ago. As they walked out the main entrance he gave the video camera his best smile and winked. Knowing Elliot would see it later on. This was going to be so much fun. 


	6. chapter 6

(Disclaimer in part one. *Warning* I may have put a toe over the line into NC-17 area with the last paragraph .I'm never quite sure how to rate these stories. Please let me know and I'll change the rating. Thanks.)  
  
The Very Thought Of You 6  
  
4:05 P. M. St. Catherine's Hospital Emergency Room  
  
After almost an hour of waiting with no word Elliot was getting impossible to control. He had nearly throttled the nurse when she asked him to fill out paperwork. "We were just here this morning!" There had been two shift changes since then and she had no clue as to what he was talking about. Munch pulled him away as Cragen explained the early admission to the nurse. Elliot was still fuming. "Why won't someone tell us what's going on?! It doesn't take an hour to pronounce someone dead. He started crying again. He hadn't cried so much since his kids had been born. The doctor approached "Detective Stabler." "Yes." "Miss Benson is alive." Elliot felt an incredible relief wash over him. She was alive, not dead, alive. The doctor was saying something else. "What?" " She's alive ,but in grave condition." "What does that mean?" Her heart is very weak She's not out of the woods just yet. The next 48 hours will determine weather or not she makes a full recovery." Elliot tried to digest this news. "When can I see her?" "The nurse will come and get you once she's set up in ICU." "Thank you so much."Elliot said shaking the doctor's hand. "Don't thank me. You should thank the detective that called and informed us about the poison she had been exposed to. It's not something we would have found in a regular tox screen. He even knew the antidote. Without his help we never would have been able to save her." The detectives exchanged looks. "Thank you just the same." "She's strong I think she'll pull through." With that the doctor walked away. Cragen pulled out his phone when it rang in his hand. He answered. "Cragen." He listened for a few moments. "What ?! I'm on my way. She's alive. The doc just told us a detective called them and gave him information on how to save her. Find out who that was. Yeah whoever it was deserves a reward." He hung up then added. "Like a needle in the arm." "So I assume we are all of the same mind that White called in the info." Munch asked. "He did more than that. They just found a cop dead in the bathroom. Strangled to death, stripped of his uniform with , get this, a dozen red roses on his chest." That's White alright, but why go through all of this. I mean he poisons her then calls the doc here to tell her how to save her. I don't get it." Fin interjected. Elliot sighed."He did it to show her that he has total control over her. He kills her then he saves her. He's playing God." Cragen's phone rang again."What? Are you sure? I want every cop looking for them. Get their picture out to everyone." He hung up again."Damm!" He looked at Elliot not sure how to tell him or how much more he could take. "Security tape shows White entering the bathroom and coming out 10 minutes later in the dead cops uniform. It also shows him at the Sargent's desk making a call to the hospital just before the flowers were delivered. He was right there in the bullpen with us when she went down." "Son of a bitch! We had him and didn't even know it."Elliot shouted. "Elliot there's more. After we left with the ambulance he's seen talking to Kathy.""My Kathy? That's not possible. We had that fight and then she left." "I talked to her after your fight she was still there when the flowers came. Security clearly shows him walking out with her. He even winked at the camera on the way out the door. I'm so sorry. You know we'll find her." Elliot just stared at him."It's my fault." "No it's not." "Yes it is. Olivia even tried to warn me." "What do you mean?" "After my fight with Kathy ,before we came down stairs, we were talking. She didn't understand why he hadn't killed her like he did the others. She was worried that she might not be his only target. I was thinking that he might go after his business partner, but she remembered that he mentioned her mother and Kathy and the kids last time we spoke to him." A nurse approached.  
  
"Are you Elliot?" "Yes." " Miss Benson is asking for you. she's become a little agitated and we need to keep her calm Dose she have any children?" "No. Why?" "She keeps saying something about distracting the children or something to that effect. She's being pretty insistent about it." Suddenly it struck Elliot what Olivia was trying to say. "Oh my God. It's all been a distraction. He's going after my kids! White knows everything about us. That's what she meant." "Alright, This is what we going to do." Cragen said talking charge. "Elliot I want you to stay here with Olivia.. It's the safest place for you both right now and just to be sure I'm going to get a few cops to hang out by the door. Munch go to Hudson and pick up Maureen. She knows you best. Fin I want you to get the rest of the kids. Bring everyone back here. I'll head up the search for Kathy. Now White has got a cops uniform. Call the schools and make sure they don't let anyone but you two near those kids no matter what. Let's move!" Munch and Fin left quickly, each making phone calls from their cells to the schools as they left. Cragen put a hand on Elliot's shoulder. "If this guy so much as touches one of your girls. You know...." "He already has." Elliot said solemnly thinking not so much of Kathy as he was of Olivia. Cragen nodded understanding. "The kids will be here soon and when sleeping beauty wakes up tell her she can never scare us like this again." Elliot chuckled a little at that. "Yeah, I will. Thanks Don." With that the nurse led him to Olivia's room.  
  
Kathy Stabler was in a car at the Holiday Inn parking lot. Trying not to think about what she was about to do. I'm breaking my vows. I'm about to commit adultery. Elliot had been her first and only lover and they had spent over twenty years together. Most of them good. So how could she do this. Because he already had, maybe not physically, but Elliot has been in love with his partner Olivia for the last six years. What she saw today had proved it. Her passenger side door opened and white offered her his hand. She took it and he helped her out of the car. He led her to the room he had just rented. He opened the door and they stepped inside. He locked it and closed the drapes. She looked at him nervously. "Are you sure?" He asked tenderly. Not that he really meant it that way. He was going to get whatever he wanted ,but he could play along with her fantasy for a little while. She seemed unsure for a moment ten lunged at him kissing him passionately. Diving in before she could change her mind. He pulled her against him his hand roaming over her body. She started to unbutton his blue uniform. "Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me." she asked seductively . She went to kiss his neck and saw what look to be like deep scratches there."Oh, what happened here?" she asked sympathetically . He pushed her away slightly and smiled a predatory fashion. He felt like a animal, playing with his food before he killed and ate it. She felt a chill run through her at seeing his smile and suddenly felt a little frightened. "You know you never even told me you're name." "Oh didn't I. It's Richard, Richard White." She took a step back. She knew that name from somewhere. "Do you work with my husband?" "No, but I know him and his bitch of a partner Olivia. They sent me to prison for rape and murder. As a matter of fact she gave me these scratches when I raped her last night." She tried to back further away from him but the back of her legs hit the edge of the bed there was nowhere else to go. She suddenly remembered where she had heard the name. "You sent her those flowers! You killed her!" She tried to make a break for the door but was easily caught .he backhanded her for her efforts and she went flying, landing in a heap on the bed. "Where do you think you're going. We aren't finished. Oh and to answer you're first question. I do have a gun in my pocket." He flashed it at her and put away again. "That doesn't mean though that I'm not happy to see you." He pulled off his belt, folding it in half he made a snapping noise with it. To get her attention. "I want to thank you for being so willing." She was still seeing stars from when he had hit her. But as her vision began to clear she could see him getting closer she sat up and made one last ditch effort to flee. He took the opportunity to slip the belt around her neck. She whimpered in fear and he liked his lips at the sight of her. He laughed. "And you called Olivia a whore. Takes one to know one ." "I'm not a whore." "No? You went to a hotel room with a man who's name you didn't even know to get fucked. What do you call that? Oh if it's makes you feel better I'll leave some money for you when i leave." Before she respond he pushed her back on to the bed hovering over her. "Please!" was all she managed to say before he pulled the belt tight cutting off her air. "AS you wish." The last thing she heard before she slipped unconscious was her shirt being ripped off. 


	7. chapter 7

(Disclaimer in part one.)  
  
The Very Thought Of You 7  
  
4:45 P.M. St. Catherine's hospital  
  
Elliot quietly entered Olivia's hospital room. He could hear the steady beeping of the heart monitors. It was music to his ears. She was on oxygen, but it wasn't a face mask so she would be able to talk. He smiled thinking of Cragen referring to her as sleeping beauty. He approached her sitting down on the side of her bed. Her eyes were closed but there was movement beneath her lids. She must be dreaming. He thought and leaned down and placed a soft kiss on her now red lips. Her eyes fluttered open. "Hey, it actually worked." He said smiling down at her. She blinked a few times trying to focus. "Elliot?" She whispered. He took one of her hands in his and kissed it. Her eyes flew wide when she remembered what she had wanted to tell him. "The kids!" Her heart monitors went off wildly. "Olivia, you have to stay calm. It's ok. The kids will be here soon. Shhhhh......" He spoke soothingly as he brushed her hair away from her face. The nurse came in to check on her and reset the monitors. "Miss Benson, you have to rest or your guest will have to leave." She leveled Elliot with a stern look. "Actually I can't leave. Detective Benson is under police protection until the man that hurt her is apprehended." He flashed his badge at her for emphasis. "I'll update the staff on the security measures to be taken as soon as my back-up arrives." She nodded. "If you need to be relieved before they get here or need anything at all uses the call button. I can watch her." She flashed her marine tattoo at him in the same fashion as he had flashed his badge, it was virtually in the same place as his. " Thank you." He said as she left and closing the door behind her to give them privacy. " Police protection in a hospital? What aren't you telling me?" He sat next to her on the bed again and sighed. He didn't want to upset her but he knew she wouldn't rest until she knew everything.  
  
Fin arrived with Kathleen, Lizzy, and Dickie by 6 o'clock. He hadn't told them much just that wanted them to come to the hospital, he wasn't hurt, but something had happened. He hated to put it on Elliot to tell them about their mother, especially with everything the man had been through in the last day of so, but he didn't want to scare them by saying your mom's been kidnaped by a rapist and murderer. When they arrived Elliot was standing in the hall outside Olivia's room talking to the nurse. Elliot saw his kids and grabbed them in a fierce hug. Kathleen spoke. "Daddy, what's wrong?" She looked past him into the ICU room .The nurse was attending to someone she couldn't quite see. As the nurse moved to adjust one of the monitors She recognized Olivia. She pushed past her fathered and entered the room. Olivia was sleeping .The nurse saw Kathleen standing there. "I'm sorry, but Miss Benson needs her rest right now." Elliot took his daughter and ushered her back into the hall closing the door behind them. Kathleen was on the verge of tears at seeing Olivia laying there obviously hurt. "What happened to her?" Elliot sighed not really wanting to tell her the details. "A lot, but she's going to be alright." Fin, who had been talking on his cell phone, hung up. "That was Munch. Maureen's alright. They're on the way eta about 2 hrs." Elliot smiled thanking God silently. "Hey, I bet you guys are hungry." He said forcing a smile and trying to delay the inevitable. The twins shrugged. "Ok, who wants a happy meal?" Fin asked. "I don't want a happy meal! I wanna know what the hell is going on!" Kathleen shouted at her father. Elliot's mouth fell open. Kathleen had always been the quite one. Now she seemed to be taking Maureen's place as the yeller in the family. "She's so grounded." Lizzy whispered to her brother. "No happy meal toy either." Dickie whispered back. "Ok. Sit down." the twins did as he asked but Kathleen stood her ground and put her hands on her hips. "What happened to her?" Elliot didn't know how to water this down so he decided to just be blunt. "Olivia was raped earlier this morning. Then a few hours ago there was an attempt made on her life. Now them man that did this, Richard White, he is very dangerous and hell bent on hurting us anyway he can think of. That means going after our families." He stopped for a moment so they could take it all in. "Now White killed a cop at the station house and stole his uniform. That's why I sent Fin and Munch to get you. I don't want you to talk or go anywhere with anyone you don't know I don't care what uniform he's wearing. Ok." They all nodded. It was then that Kathleen noticed someone was missing. "Where's mom?"  
  
Telling his children that their mother was in the hands of a madman was one of the worst things he had ever had to do. Lizzy started crying and Dickie automatically put his arms around her. Kathleen was unreadable. "Listen the Captain is heading up the search and every cop in New York is looking for her." " Why aren't you?!" Kathleen shouted at him. The door to Olivia's room opened and the nurse stepped out. "She's awake. You can see her now." Kathleen burst into the room and walked right up to Olivia's bed. She was sitting up slightly and offered a small smile. Kathleen ignored it. "Are you screwing my dad?!" she shouted. Olivia blinked. That wasn't the greeting she was expecting. "What?" "Kathleen!" Elliot shouted. Olivia raised her hand indicating that he should let her handle it. " Why would you even think something like that?" Olivia asked her. "Why else would he be here with you and not out looking for my mom. You promised me you would always tell me the truth no matter what. So tell me are you and dad having an affair?" Kathleen was crying hard now. Olivia looked her directly in the eye. "No." She said simply. The truth never needs an explanation. Kathleen started sobbing and Olivia opened her arms to her. "I'm sorry, I know you would never..."she cried into Olivia chest hugging her tight. "Shhhhh.. It's alright." Liv said softly trying to sooth her. She looked at Elliot and he nodded in understanding. He went back out into the hall and closed the door.  
  
8:00 P. M. Holiday Inn Room 26  
  
Kathy woke up on the floor next to the bed. The first thing she was aware of was her pounding headache. She blinked trying to get her eyes to adjust to the light, but everything seemed disjointed as she tried to focus. She tried to move and was rewarded with crippling pain. She screamed and then fell silent as she slipped beck into unconsciousness. 


	8. chapter 8

(Disclaimer in part one.)  
  
The Very Thought Of You 8  
  
8:45 P. M. St. Catherine's ICU unit  
The nurse opened the door to Olivia's room and quietly stepped in. She had to smile at the sight before her. Olivia was sound asleep with her arms wrapped around a girl about 17 or so. Who she surmised had finally cried herself to sleep as well. She put a hand on the child's arm to wake her. "Honey." Kathleen stirred and opened her eyes. She extracted herself from Olivia, careful not to wake her. "I need you to step out into the hall for a few minutes. We're going to move Miss Benson down the hall into a private room. I've also arranged for a couple of cots to be put in there for you guys. Your father hasn't rested at all since this whole situation began maybe you can talk him into a nap." "I will. Um. Is she really going to be ok.?" "physically, she's making an excellent recovery. Emotionally, that may take a while longer." Kathleen smiled a thank you and left the room. In the hall Elliot was sitting in a chair with Lizzy asleep on his lap and Dickie snuggled up next to him. His eyes were closed but she knew he wasn't sleeping. "Daddy, I'm sorry." Elliot opened his clear blue eyes. "Kathleen, sorry just isn't good enough." She blinked she wasn't expecting this. "I'm not going to go off on you now because I know your upset about your mom, but we will talk about this later. And here's a little food for thought. Olivia was literally brought back from the dead today and the first and only thought on her mind was making sure White didn't get his hands on you kids. She loves you just as much as your mother and I do. I don't want you to ever doubt that ok." She hung her head, ashamed. "Now I really feel like shit." Elliot was about to tell her to watch her language when Maureen and Munch walked up to them. Elliot had to do a double take when he saw his daughter. She was almost as tall as Munch now, no longer his little girl. Her blond hair was styled very professionally, almost like Alexandra Cabot's used to be. "Hey Maureen." Lizzy and Dickie woke up at the mention of their oldest sisters name. They scrambled away from their dad to give her a hug. Elliot kissed his oldest daughter on the check. "I'm so glad to see that your safe. Did Munch tell you?" "Yes, I got the full story from him on the way down here." "Was it the PG or R rated version?" "It was the un-rated, unedited truth. Is there are news yet." "No not yet ." "How is Olivia doing?" she asked with obvious concern. "I'm doing just fine." Olivia answered. As she stepped from her room. She was standing on her own and wearing hospital scrubs for clothes. Maureen walked over to her and gave her a gentle hug. "Should you be walking around?"Elliot asked alarmed. The nurse appeared at her side. "She's going to a private room at the end of the hall." Elliot stepped towards her with intentions of carrying her like before. Olivia saw what was coming and batted his hand away. "Oh, no. Not the prince charming routine again. I am not an invalid I can walk." " Why do you always have to be so stubborn?" He said to her back as she walked away. She answered by flipping him the bird over her shoulder. He smiled. "Well glad to see she's feeling better." Munch said laughing as they followed her down to her new room.  
  
11:57 P. M. Holiday Inn Room 26  
  
This time when Kathy opened her eyes things were a little clearer. She laid still for a while before trying to move again. She started slowly by moving her fingers then her toes getting used to the sharp twinges of pain. It felt a lot like the contractions she had while giving birth to her kids. Sharp and intense but then subsiding. She just had to remember to take it easy and breath. Finally after a while she managed to half roll, half crawl to the bedside table were the phone was. She picked up the receiver and it slipped through her hand. She noticed for the first time that her hands were slick with something. She wiped them on the bed sheet and saw the red streaks that she left behind. Blood. Oh God! She thought and looked down at her body for the first time. She wasn't wearing any clothes and the redness of the blood all over her body was in deep contrast to her skin. She pulled a blanket from the bed and wrapped it around herself. She picked up the phone again and dialed 911. "Hello. 911 What's your emergency?" She gave them her location. Her voice barley audible. "I ...There's blood....I think I'm ....." was the last the operator heard from her as the phone fell to the floor and Kathy once again slipped into unconsciousness.  
  
Hospital Room 137  
Olivia was sitting up at the head of her bed with the twins at the foot. They were playing Spite and Malice while eating their Happy Meals and Liv was losing. "Isn't there a rule about two against one?" She asked. "We're twins it doesn't apply to us." Lizzy said stealing one of her brothers fries. "You can get dad to help you play against us." Dickie suggested. Elliot laughed at that. "What so I could help here lose faster. I'm terrible at this game. Liv destroys me every time, usually I don't even get to play one card from my stack." Olivia couldn't hide her smile. Off in the corner sitting on a cot Maureen and Kathleen were talking quietly. "I can't believe you actually said that to her."Maureen admonished her sister. Kathleen sighed. " And for future reference Dad can't be involved in mom's case in any way whatsoever or Olivia's for that matter." "Why?" "Police procedure. When they catch this guy there can't be any hint of misconduct on the part of the police. His lawyer could say that dad planted evidence or tampered with a witness and the s.o.b. could walk.. Elliot looked at his daughter from across the room. Truly impressed and proud.  
  
Captain Cragen stepped into the room and everyone turned to look at him. "No word yet on Kathy. I'm sorry." He stepped up to Olivia and Elliot with Munch and Fin right behind."We need to talk." the twins took the hint and went over to be with their sisters. Cragen handed Olivia her shield and gun. She took them but gave him a quizzical look. "We found Lilia White dead a couple hours ago." "He killed his mother?" Fin asked surprised, after all he hadn't been with SVU when they put away White before and didn't know too much about the family dynamics. "He did a lot more than that." and handed Olivia a file folder with the details and a few crime scene photos. "My God." she gasped and handed the file over to Elliot. "Mommy dearest was his first stop when he escaped. After he killed her he took all the money and jewels he could get his hands on. It comes out to about 3 or 4 hundred thousand dollars." Elliot and Olivia shared a look. "He's in this for the long haul." Liv said. "And He's not through with you yet." Cragen said as he pulled out an evidence bag. Inside was a card like the others she had gotten from him except this one had blood on it. She read it through the plastic. "My sweet Olivia, Our time together in the ally was too brief. And I am looking forward to being with you once again seeing as my last conquest proved so disappointing. Elliot doesn't know what he's missing. And I'm sure you're waiting with bated breath. I'll be seeing you. Love Richard." Elliot was almost shaking with anger when he took the note from her to read it himself. "Who's blood is this?" Cragen put a hand on Elliot's shoulder. "It's Kathy's." Before he could react the nurse ran into the room. "Detective Stabler! We just had a ambulance come into the ER. The EMT recognized the passenger it's your wife!" 


	9. chapter 9

(Disclaimer in part one.)  
  
*Author's note*  
This chapter is co-authored by Oefangran. Who's helpful suggestions helped me out tremendously. And because this story looks like it might end up being 30 chapters long. I'm going to make it into a series. Hopefully I'll have chapter one of the next story up within the week. Thank-you all for your support.  
  
The Very Thought Of You 9  
  
1:45 A. M. St. Catherine's Hospital Olivia's Room 137  
  
Elliot headed for the door. His kids started to follow. "No, I want you to stay here where it's safe." They knew not to argue. "Elliot." Olivia called after him. She jumped out of bed and put a hand on his arm speaking softly. "He likes to watch. Be careful." He understood exactly what she meant. White had been right there in the bullpen when Liv had been poisoned. Hiding in plain sight so he could watch the devastation he created. "You too." She still had her gun, that the captain had given back to her, in her hand. She smiled as she clicked off the safety and chambered the next bullet. It was by far the sexiest thing he had ever seen. She put the safety back in place and tucked it in the front of her scrub pants. He looked over at his children and Liv read his mind. "Nothing is going to happen to them. I promise." He gave her a quick smile and left with the nurse to see his wife. He felt better. Olivia always kept her promises.  
  
Maureen was the first to speak after her father left. "You think White is here in the hospital don't you?" Liv didn't want to scare them but they had to know how much danger they were in so there wouldn't be any careless mistakes. "I think he very well could be." She looked at her colleagues "I also think White would love to take advantage of Elliot being distracted by Kathy's condition." "I'm already gone." Fin said as he headed out the door.  
  
No sooner then Elliot and Fin had left then Elliot's cell phone began to ring from his overcoat that he had left slung over his chair. Olivia quickly answered it. " Benson." "Hello, Olivia." came the sickening voice of Richard White. She flashed Munch and Cragen a look and stepped out into the hall so as not to be heard by the children. "Richard, how nice of you to call." She said sweetly thought the look on her face was filled with disgust. "Did you like the flowers and the little notes I sent you?" "Oh, yes. You made my heart flutter. Speaking of hearts did you really find it necessary to cut out your mother's?""Well that was curiosity. I always wondered if see had a heart of stone. I guess she was human after all. Speaking of mothers. I was sad to hear about Serena's death. Tell me Olivia how does it feel knowing you were the reason for her little tumble down the stairs." Olivia was growing more angry by the minute and was about to hang up when she heard a scream in the background. "Who was that?" "Oh. That 's the reason for my call. You see I got to Maureen's school just in time to see Detective Munch drive away with her. And I gotta tell you I was more than just a little disappointed at missing her. I was really going to enjoy getting to know her inside and out. So since I made the trip all the way there I just couldn't leave without taking a souvenir. Namely her roommate Jenny." "You sick bastard!" She could hear the girl screaming for help. "Tell Maureen, Jenny says hi." "Let her go she has nothing to do with us." "If I did that I wouldn't have anyone to play with." Olivia 's mind raced trying to think of a way to end this nightmare. A thought suddenly struck her. "If you thought Kathy was a disappointment. Do you really think some collage girl is going to satisfy you. You can do better than that." "Do you have a prospect in mind?" " Yes, let's make a deal." "I'm listening." "First you let Jenny go. Second you leave Elliot, Kathy and especially their children out of this. I mean it No more threats or attempts I don't even want you to think about them.. Are we clear?" " I'm still waiting to hear what I get in return?" "ME." Cragen and Munch opened their mouths to protest but a look from her made them stay silent. "I've already had you and I can take you again any time I want." " 20 minutes in a dark ally with me unconscious. It can't have been that much fun. Wouldn't you rather have me as a willing participant have far more experience than that child you have now." She could hear him breathing hard and knew she almost had him. "You would have total control over me. And if you let me, Richard , Ohhh the things I could do to you." She spoke in her the most seductive voice she could muster. She heard him lick his lips. She had him. "Tell me more." He was practically drooling now. "When I get word that Jenny is ok we'll talk again." "How do I know your not just teasing me. That this isn't just a trap like last time." "I promise you that if you keep your end of the bargain I'll keep mine. It will be just you and me." With that she hung up on him. Letting out a sigh she leaned against the wall. "You got to Maureen maybe a minute ahead of White." "It sounds as though he didn't leave empty handed. "He really has my roommate Jenny?" Maureen asked as she walked toward them. They hadn't realized that she had been listening at the door way. "He's going to let her go." "In exchange for you?" Olivia nodded. "You can't he'll.." She burst into full tears at the thought of Olivia being at his mercy. Olivia wrapped her arms around Elliot's oldest daughter. "Everything is going to be ok. I promise. Look if I can get close to him I can end all this without anyone else getting hurt." She looked pleadingly at Munch and Cragen. "You can't let her. It's suicide. He'll kill her." Cragen knew Maureen was right, but he also knew Olivia. Nothing was going to stop her once she had made up her mind. He could order her not to go but she would just quit and do it anyway. He looked over at Munch to see if he had any ideas but he just shook his head sadly. "Daddy will never let you do this." Maureen said and turned to go to the ER to tell him. "Your father doesn't have any say in the matter and frankly has enough on his plate right now with what's happened to your mother. That's where his focus needs to be right now. I'll be alright I promise and I always keep my promises .I'll be back with White's head on a platter before he even notices I'm gone." Maureen wasn't buying it. Olivia sighed. "I'll go down and talk to your father. Will that make you feel better." Maureen nodded. "Munch will you look after these guys for me." "Of course." "I'll be back in a few minutes." She headed for the elevator. "Olivia." Cragen called after her. "If White calls talk to us before you go ok?" "Promise."  
  
As the elevator doors closed the cell phone rang. "It's done. She's at Mercy Hospital." "Good. Where and when?" "Take a stroll along 5th Avenue. Once I know your alone I'll call you with more instructions. Don't disappoint me Olivia." " Give me an hour." She hung up the phone as the elevator doors opened up. She saw Fin leaning against the door frame of Kathy Stabler's room. She marveled at the way he managed to look approachable and untouchable at the same time. "How is she?" "Not good." he answered sadly. She looked through the window into the room. Kathy was hooked up to just about every machine they had. Elliot was holding her hand and had his head buried in the crook of his arm sleeping. She felt a horrible wave of guilt wash over her. This was all her fault. She stepped away from the door and turned to Fin. "I'll take watch for a while. Why don't you head upstairs and get some sleep. If your lucky you can steal my bed before the twins do." He smiled gratefully at her and headed for the elevator he waved as the doors closed. She approached the nurses desk "Do you have something I can write on?" the nurse gave her a clipboard with several sheets of paper and a pen. Olivia smiled a thank you. And sat down next to Kathy's door. She let all of the thoughts and feeling that had been building up for the last 6 years out onto the pages. When she was done she folded it up and went back to the nurses station. She addressed it , Elliot , and clipped her badge to it. "When Detective Stabler wakes up can you please see that he gets this." The nurse nodded and took the note from her. "Also the extra security measures we put in place will no longer be needed." And before she could change her mind she walked out of the hospital and into the night.  
  
By: C.G. Parker  
  
Look for Broken Promises the next story in this series. 


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